Hasta Luego, by Senor Loco

Updates readers !

This has not been easy. Unfortunately Senor Loco also has a life, which does not help with the blogging. You may have noticed a fall off in the number of posts for a few weeks ( and, some have said, the quality). Sorry about that, but I couldn't give it the attention it deserved and frankly, I was a bit under pressure. If you'd asked me then, I'd have said it wasn't worth the effort. But now that its coming to an end, I'm feeling a bit sad. So maybe, and I stress MAYBE, I'll see you in the Autumn.
Anyway, thank you to all the followers and nice people who made encouraging comments here and on other sites. Have a nice summer! To people who made less nice comments, also have a nice summer, and stay classy.
Muchos Garcias,

Loco.

The Bull Speaks by The Bull

Moooooooo.

Heh.

Last Post by Keith

I am ready to go home now. I have some colouring books, and my psp for the flight home. I bought some horns for the lads at home but Paulie said I had to pack them in my luggage after only an hour of me practicing ! Meanie. I will see Tomás and Flanners and Quinners but I will not be rubbing it in but I will tell them all about it and how much better it would have been if they had been here. That is life and it is sometimes hard, Paulie told me. He is right, and not just about the horns !

Anyway, Africa was brilliant ! I have learned a lot of new tricks that I will use next year and hopefully I will get to win a Heineken cup because Magners just gives me a stomach ache and a very very sore head. It is not cidona. We did not get to drink Champagne this time with the Lions but Paulie says if I keep my head down and my nose to the grindstone and my shoulder to the wheel I will kick on and if I am lucky I will get to play in Australia with the Lions and see Kangaroos and Koalas and things. That will be brilliant too! I love Home and Away.

Oh, and they are called the Lions and not De Lyons. They do not have anything to do with Tea !!!
Thank you to all the people who said nice things about my posts.

Bye
Keith

One thing I HAVE Learned by Luke

I was, famously, brief in my experiment with third level education. With a development contract and BOD on my side, well, why waste time in the UCD college bar, telling lies about how baked you got the night before, and who you got off with in Spirit or Club M ? But, even in that brief time, I learned one rule of life.
Med Students are wankers.
To be fair, I guess its the pressure, or whatever. Still have time to bag a few nurses, mind you. Although, I know, like, who hasn't? But apparently every year a few of them mess up and have to either take a quick trip to England or else find that the ob-gyn module has a whole new immediacy for them. This simple lack of comprehension of cause and effect worries me. These are the fellas who'll be lookin' after me in my, like, thirties or whatever. Reassuring, not.
All of which is to say that there are exceptions to every rule. Dr. Phil, obviously. And now I've met another. Learner Doctor, Jamie Roberts. What a champ. Well done fella.

African Facts by Keith

I have been given a job ! Paulie asked me to compile some interesting facts about Africa so that we will all have learned something before we go home. I stood up this morning to the Irish lads after some boring talking by some scottish fella.

" Keith's amazing facts about Africa. One! " I siad "Four of the five fastest land animals live in Africa – the cheetah, which can run at an amazing 70 miles per hour, wildebeest, lion and gazelle."
" Well no wonder Habana and the backs is so fast." Ugo said.
" Two " I said "Africa is the home of the Human spe...., spekeye, er, spush, er... Race, which developed there about 5 million years ago! "
" And if Burger is anything to go by, stopped developing there soon after. " Donners said.
"I hear that ! " Luke said.
" We all heard that, like, Luke." I said. " He's only sittin' over there."
"Go on Keith." Paulie Said. " Don't mind them messers."
"Right." I says. " Ahem. Three. Many children in Africa don’t get to go to school. If you grew up in Mali in west Africa, you’d only have a one in three chance of havin' to go to primary school. " I looked around. " How lucky are they, like? "
"Daycint " Donners says.
" Luke, err, maybe it isn't a good thing...." Stephen Jones started to say, but the lads hushed him.
I decided to keep going.
" Four - The Banjo like what Flanners pretends to play started off in Africa as an instrument called the hodu ! "
"Hodu ? Dey do !" Donners said. "Hur hur! "
"I wondered if it isn't too late to send every Banjo back to Africa and forget it ever happened?" asked Wally.
" Considering all the good music that's come out of Africa, I guess you have to forgive them for it." Hairy Welsh Fella said.
" You've obviously never seen the Wolfe Tones. " Wally said.
"African, are they? " HWF said.
" Five." I said " The Nile is the longest River in the world. If you straightened out all the bends, it would flow from the Equator to the Scottish Highlands ! This is a very long way indeed." I said.
" It sure is. " Ross Ford said. " Especially if you had to swim it. "
Everyone looked at him.
"Why would you have to swim it? " Paulie asked.
"Well, I dunno, just sayin' it would be. "
"Ok then. Sure. Good." Paulie said. " Now , everyone. What have we learned?"

There was a consultation. Eventually they decided they had learned that The Wolfe Tones should be sent to Africa to play banjos while Schalk Burger is chased by cheetahs and PDV made to swim the length of the Nile before being given a job as a teacher in Mali.

" I think he'd be happier there alright. " Paulie said, nodding.
"Well done Keith. " He said then.
Then he patted my back and gave me a chuppa chup.
I love Paulie.

Looking Back, by Luke

Well. So err, yeah. I'm pretty much on my holidays now, I guess. Have to put in a few more training sessions, mainly as cannon fodder, and then, I guess, back home.
The eye is fine. The tan is nice.
So yeah. What have I learned ?
Errrrr....
Can you leave it with me?

THE CHILDREN - By HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED

"Someone made a really good point to me that kids, or parents watching an interview like that, questioning whether they should have their kid play rugby or soccer, that’s their decision made right there." - To G Thornley in the IT



HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED believes that children are our future
Treat them well and let them lead the way INTO GLORIOUS BATTLE
Show them all the beauty the possess inside, AND HOW TO HIDE IT AS A WEAKNESS
Give them a sense of pride IN THE CRACKING OF THEIR SKULLS
And make it easier TO ENDURE THE INEVITABLE PAIN
Let the childrens laughter,
Remind us how we used to be WEAK AND EMOTIONAL

HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED decided long ago,
Never to walk in anyone's shadow ! TOO RIGHT
If I fail IF I WHAT?
If I succeed OF COURSE
At least I live as I believe AS IF ALL MORTALS SHOULD WORSHIP ME
No matter what they take from HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED
They can't take away my dignity UNLESS HE IS MAKING A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

Because the Greatest Love of All THAT OF MINIONS FOR THEIR MASTER
Is happening to HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED

I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me ALONG WITH THE GREATEST OF EVERYTHING ELSE
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve WAIT FOR IT
Learning to love HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED
It is the greatest love of all


THANK YOU, AND GOODNIGHT.