Minutes

Chair - Comrades! Thank you for coming along, Comrade P, Comrade X, Comrade Y and, errr, welcome Comrade K to your first party meeting. Now, our first order of business
the recent visit of Comrade P to the so called Aras of the so called Uachtarain.

Comrade P - Thanks. As you know, lads, I undertook to travel to the lair of the capitalist oppressors, Dublin, in order to try and convince Martin Mc Aleese to use his influence with Unionists to overthrow the sectarian D'Hondt system of ministerial allocation as this is preventing the proper formation of class conciousness among the fine working class men and women of the North....

Comrade K - Can I get a quarter pounder, Paulie?

Comrade P - In a minute, Comrade. I managed to get Mr Mc Aleese isolated in a corner and proceeded to give him a detailed Marxist analysis of the failures of the Northern Executive.

Comrade X - How did he take it?

Comrade P - His eyes glazed over but he had not reached the drooling stage before we were interrupted by the President. In order to maintain my cover I had to revert to sterotypical behaviour. I told her 'Yer husband is some man for one man. What a load of balls, like.'.

Comrade Y - How did she take it ?

Comrade P. - Her eyes glazed over, but she didn't drool.

Comrade K - Can I get the happy meal, Paulie?

Comrade P - In a minute. I then moved into the realm of analogy, pointing out the sitaution in the North would be like allocating places on the Munster team by size of club. Under D'Hondt, as a Young Munster Man, I might not even make the team.

Chair - Good one, Comrade P. But lets remember we are all party men first and foremost.

Comrade X - Hear Hear, Chair. As a Shannon man myself, I never put the fact that we deservedly whipped Garryowen last week above my loyalty to the party.

Comrade Y - I admit to no superior in my loyalty to the party, but I would like to point out that the game was played in a gale which constantly blew in the faces of the Garryowen men, and this was the deciding factor in the ultimate result. And if its whippins we're talkin' about, wasn't 25 points last year a proper whippin' ?

Comrade X - Running DOG !

Comrade Y - SPLITTIST !

Chair - ORDER ! ORDER !

Security Guard - Lads, I'm afraid I'll have to ask the five of ye to leave. Ye're disturbing the other customers.

Comrade K- Can I get my happy meal to go then, Paulie?

Comrade X - ' THERE IS AN ISLE...."

Comrade P - *Sigh*. Yes Keith.