Quinnie and Me by Keith

I did some special drills with Quinnie today. First we did The Respectful Nod. I pretended I was the Ref first of all, and he showed me how to do it. Then we switched.

" I've warned you about that. " he said. He was talking like my old headmaster. "Once more and I'm going to the pocket. "

" Yes Ref ! Sorry ! "
"Good, Keith, good. If you want to you can lay a manful hand on his shoulder, you can do that. Don't overplay it though. "
" Yes Quinny."
" Maybe just stick to the Rueful Smile and shake of the head, for now, anyway."
"Yes Quinny."

We went on to the Who me? What? Drill

"Ok, so what do we think about ? " Quinnie asked.
" The time Johnny Daly told the teacher I farted even though he did."
" Thats right. Ready? Hands off red! Hands OFF, RED ! "
I pointed at meself .
" Who? Me?"
"Good, good. Only this time, don't say it, just think it, OK? "
"Yes Quinny."
"Again !"

Finally we did the Didja See That, Didya? drill.

"Ok, so where do we position ourselves?"
" In the sightline of a referee or other official, Quinnie. "
" And..."
"And exagerate any contact."
"Good. And do not..."
"Do not point or otherwise seem to look for a penalty. "
"Excellent. Although with time, you can make a judgement call on that, like I did with Pelous last year."
" Yes Quinny."
" Ok, I'll brush you with my shoulder, and you fall over. Ready? Annnnnd, go."
I fell over and pretended I was dead for a second.
" Was that okay, Quinnie?"
"Perfect, Keith, perfect. We'll practice your 'Wha' happened?' look tomorrow."
"Thank you Quinnie."
"Any time, Keith. It is my duty to pass on the fruits of my experience to the younger generation. Some day you will pass these secrets on too."

When I am big, I want to be Quinnie.