Hunting Keith 2 by Luke

So I took a taxi with Mike Blair. He was standing by the door, well up for a little excursion. People call him Blade, apparently because he isn't the sharpest. He's the only one who dosen't know this. Perfect.
We arrived at what I can only call a shebeen. There were no lights on the street, which I think was probably a blessing.
"Wait here." I told the driver.
"I do not think so, sah." He said, and put pedal to metal as soon as we'd got out.
" Must be his busy time, och?" Said Blade, watching the brake lights disappear into the night.
"Right" I said. " Lets do this. You go first. "
We went in through the front door. Blade first. It was as if I'd walked into Clohessy's in Limerick wearing my Leinster gear and a billboard that said " Turnip-Munchers should play Bog-Ball and leave Rugby to Real Men". There was a silence broken only by drinks being put down and knuckles being cracked.
"Hows it goin', boys ?" Said Blade.
There was a sharp intake of breath. I was about to run for it, then thought about my chances of making my way back to the hotel in one piece. I decided to step up.
" Hello, gents." I said. " Sorry about Blade, he's Scottish. I'm just looking for my friend. Bald head. Looks about eight. Might have been carrying a toy lion."
The largest man in the world stood up.
" Where you from?" he said, glaring at me.
" Errr, Ireland." I squeaked.
" Ireland." He siad, with a smile. " Conas atá tú, a bhuchaill? Tá tú i bhfad ó bhaile anois, nach bhfuil?"
Well, you could have knocked me over with a Ronan O'Gara tackle.
" Tá an nGaeilge agat?" arsa mise.
He nodded.
" Conas?"
" Chuaigh mé ar scoil leis na mBraithire Chríostí. "
" Tá brón orm. " arsa mise, suddenly breaking out in a cold sweat.
" Na bac, fuair me mo n-oideachais, buíochas leo. Tá do chara thuas staighre ag imirt X-box le mo bhean. An bhfaighidh mé é duit?"
" Le do thoil." arsa mise.
He went off, and I remembered Blade, who was standing looking at me, his mouth hanging open.
" Jeez, Luke." He said, " Well done."
"Thanks." I said.
"Tell us, " he went on, "how long you been learning Xhosa ?"