New Drill - By Luke

Well, there is still technically a chance I guess that I'll make the team on Saturday but lets face it, its slimmer than Kate Moss after a fortnight round Pete Doherty's place. And bloody Kearney's being insufferable. Calling me his Midweek Monkey-boy and asking me to wash his boots. Last pair ended up in the bidet. I guess they're useful for something other than washing your nethers. The bidet, I mean, not the boo.... Movin' on.
Anyway, was not the happiest in today's training. But Howley was pretty chipper when he came out. We should have known something was up. He lined us up on the 22.
" Right guys. Having reviewed the tapes and spoken to some experts at home, we have identified an area that we can certainly improve. Back to basics jobbie. "
We all nodded. Scrum work, I figured. Or the breakdown.
"Now, when I call your name, you come out, catch the ball when I pass it to you and do exactly what I tell you. Got it? "
We nodded, shaped up.
"OK, UGO ! " he called.
Moyne took off like a scalded cat towards him. Caught the ball fairly handy.
" Keep going !" Howley screeched. " Over the line over the line over the line annnnnnnnd TOUCH IT DOWN ! "
Ugo trotted back, looking pretty sheepish.
"Now lads, not that f***ing hard, is it? " Said Howley, pretty sharp.
We all looked at our feet. I don't know about the others, but I was trying not to laugh.
" Lets try it again, shall we?" he said. " Who shall I pick? Misterrrrrrr Phillips ! ....."
Made them do it ten or so times each.
Maybe being a dirt tracker isn't so bad, sometimes.