The Baron, By LUKE

Yesterday I went into the lounge and who was there with his netbook open and a piece of paper in front of him but the Robster.
"Robbie? Whats shakin' ?"
"Oh hey Luke. Nothin' much. Just working on my nickname?"
"Your nickname? I thought it was Stinky?"
" I thought I asked you never to mention that?" He goes, all hostile. "That was a family thing. No, you heard them chanting BEAST, BEAST, BEAST the other night?"
Sure did. I nodded.
"Well, the agent reckons if I can come up with something that good, it wouldn't do my brand recognition any harm at all."
Ignoring the ten minutes I spent calling him a tool for using a phrase like 'brand recognition', I had to eventually admit he had a point. Or his agent.
" Alright then, " I said, " What have you got so far? "
"Well only two so far. You ready? Number one. Rob ' The Beast' Kearney."
He looked at me. I looked at him.
"Ok, so its taken. I was just warming up. Ready?"
"Hello, born ready? Lay it on me."
"Rob 'The Baron' Kearney."
I looked at him. He looked at me.
"Why?" I said, eventually. "Do you have some actual connection with Royalty, or something?"
"No, no. Look, its Rob, as in Robber, as in Robber Baron."
He looked at me like a spaniel, waiting for its kicking. I sat back, and thought about Anglo Irish, BOS, and the economy generally. Where to begin. I shook my head.
"Rob, " I Said, " That is pure......GOLD. Dude, how did you come up with that?"
His shoulders slumped, relieved. He smiled, tried to look modest.
"English was always my best subject."
"Not history? No, English, obviously. Obviously. Man, you should start using it straight away.If only you had some way to get it out there, to the people. Then they could cheer you on at the next test. "
"Yeah," he said. " Pity, that. "
We sat in silence. I looked significantly at the netbook.
"Dude !" He said. " I could change my facebook profile!"
"Perfect ! " I said. " Get to it, dude ! "
I left him at it.
Its an attack of the guilts that got me blogging about it here. Apparently he got an awful slagging from the family & friends. But hey, thats what happens on tour. Pranking. Everyone is fair game.