Friday, May 1, 2009

Plan C - Surveillance Recording

-Hello?

-Hello. Can I speak to CJ Van Der Linde

-Speaking, bra. Ken I hilp you?

-Errr, yes, Mr Linde. My name is Alan Qu...., er Quiff, Alan Quiff. I'm calling for a charity down here in Limerick called, errr, Shams Without Shoes.

-Izzit ?! You've got scrompies down there withoet shoes, bra? I mean, the guys on the team told me stories, but I thought they wuz having a laugh, hey? Angelas Ashes vibe !

- Ah, no, no, they weren't. Plenty of us without shoes. Plennnty. So the thing is, we were thinking of holding a fund-raising raffle to, you know, buy some tackies, like, and we were wondering if you'd like to donate a jersey for it?

- No problem , bra. Hows about the one I wear on Saturday? Ought to be worth some money after we klap the kak out of your lot, eh? Eh?

- Heh. Well, given the , ah, sensitivities of the situation, we were thinking maybe one of your old Springbok jerseys might be better down here, you know ? A lot of people have Leinster jerseys since 2006, like, anyway. People were throwing them off before the game was over. Shame, I guess. Eh?

- Ah right. Wouldn't know about that, bra, before my time. Well, anyway, no problem Mr Quiff. I've got a few in the ol' suitcase, ja? Where should I send it to?

- Errr, I wouldn't want you to be out of pocket on the postage. Sure, why don't you bring it to the game on Saturday and I'll have someone collect it.

- That'd be lekker, bra, lekker. I'll have it there for them. Just ask at reception before the game.

- Thanks a million, Mr Linde. The shoeless shams of Limerick salute you !

- You're welcome bra. Glad I ken hilp.

- Goodbye.

- Laters.

*RECORDING ENDS *

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